Depression.
It’s a hard subject to talk about, or bring up. The duality of depression is such that no-one knows what you’re going through. But at the same time, many people do. So many people go through their lives with the symptoms of depression. It can be a debilitating issue. The feelings of helplessness and worthlessness as you go through your days. The feeling of sadness, or emotional numbness.
The feeling of being depressed reduces your ability to do things that you would normally consider joyful, or fun. You may feel tired due to the emotions you are feeling draining you. Or you may feel anxiety getting the better of you and be unable to sleep. It varies from person to person, but it’s all the same depressive feelings.
This post is more to me admitting to myself that I have some form of depression. The feeling of being inadequate. The feeling of worrying about things that I know in my mind I shouldn’t worry about. Where some people with depression find a lack of emotional connection to things, I end up feeling the opposite. I feel connection greater than I normally do, or to be more accurate, I fear losing the emotional connections I do have. Connections to friends, or just connections to anything.
I know in my head that the things I fear won’t happen, but during my form of depression the emotions get the better of me. The fear brings up feelings of tiredness and tears about things I know I shouldn’t worry about.
One of the things that gets me through the more difficult parts of this “disease” is a line from the television show, Babylon 5. (I tend to think of a lot from this show. It helps me).
“It’s easy to find something worth dying for, Do you have anything, worth living for?”
When I hit my darkest, I think of the things that I have to live for. It may not bring me all the way out, but it helps. It tends to change a little about what I think of, but for the most part it’s normally the same; the thought of my best friends. Thinking of that helps me because I know that there’s people that truly care about me–even when I’ve had some of the darker thoughts (and I have on occasion).
So, let me ask you reading this. Have you had depression? Still have it? Going through it now? It doesn’t go away easily, but it does get better. There are people who care about you. Just look around. See who’s around you. Look.
When you find those people, talk. I know it’s hard, I’ve had issues talking about it as well. But it helps. Trust me.
The best thing to remember is, to stay strong. This won’t go away overnight. This may not go away fully. But you can get through this. If I’ve got this far, you can as well.
To quote another television show, “The hardest thing in this world, is to live in it. Be brave. Live” ~ Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
So, be brave. Live. You are wanted. We can both get through this. You’re not alone.
Some phone numbers for Depression helplines in a few countries:
Australia
MindSpot Clinic
- 1800 61 44 34
An online and telephone clinic providing free assessment and treatment services for Australian adults with anxiety or depression.
New Zealand
- the Depression Helpline 0800 111 757
United States
- NDMDA Depression Hotline – Support Group 800-826-3632
United Kingdom
- Telephone: 0808 802 2020 Information Service, Wednesdays, 2:00pm-4:00pm
Dreaming Screenwriter 